Bunch of savages in this town

I just realized that someone stole my Smokey Joe. It was out on my back porch, and someone just swiped it. They didn't take the charcoal or lighter fluid that was next to it. And they didn't break down the door or even cut through the screen windows, which were wide open, and behind which are a TV, DVD player, laptop and digital camera. They just took my Smokey Joe.

How am I supposed to get through the rest of the summer with no Smokey Joe?